Asma's vision extends beyond traditional grief support, recognizing the complex nature of loss, whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or more nuanced forms of grief. Her approach is holistic and inclusive, ensuring that the Grief Recovery Center remains a cornerstone of hope and healing. Through her expertise and heartfelt dedication, Asma Rehman has established herself as a trusted authority in helping individuals heal and find peace amidst their most challenging times.
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What is navigating grief like as a child or teen?
Managing grief and loss is hard enough at any age, but as a child or teen it can be even harder–there’s no life context for these big feelings, and there hasn’t been enough time or experience to practice navigating this type of vulnerability and loss.
As a parent, if your child or teen is experiencing some type of grief, you may be considering options like teen grief counseling as a resource to help them process and hope. But what if you’ve never been to therapy yourself, and don’t know what they can expect? Or, what if you’ve only been to therapy as an adult? Is there anything different you should know about the process before sending your child?
This is a short guide meant to offer an overview of what your child or teen can expect when starting therapy, and how you can support them on their healing journey:
The First Session: What Happens and What to Expect
The initial counseling session typically serves a more logistical function than the rest of your teen’s therapy appointments. In the first session, the therapist will both be getting to know your child and giving them the basics on what to expect from their care plan. During the intake session, the therapist will likely:
- Meet with both parent and child together to gain a basic understanding of your child’s needs, background, and your concerns as a parent. This may differ from practice to practice, and if your teen is seeking therapy, they will likely conduct all (including the first session) on their own.
- Offer a sense of what therapy will be like: with a child or teen therapist, this includes taking the first steps toward building a rapport with your child, focusing on developmentally appropriate language and approaches, and going over the general goals and approaches for the therapeutic process.
- Outline the therapy process for both of you, discussing how sessions typically unfold, what types of techniques or activities might be used, going over any logistical policies (late cancellation, rescheduling, etc.), and setting initial goals.
Supporting Your Child Without Overstepping Boundaries
It’s admirable but not always easy to make the choice to send your child to therapy. There is some support parents aren’t able to offer, and knowing how you can help and where you need to support your child by deferring to someone else is a strength in parenting. It’s okay if the process of finding a therapist for your child or teen brings up some mixed feelings within you. It’s common for parents going through this process to feel:
Apprehensive about not knowing every detail of their child’s sessions.
You’re probably used to being the expert on your child’s day-to-day, but therapy presents a space where you’re no longer the one at the wheel. Like any change, this can be difficult for parents, even when they know they’re doing what is best for their child.
Concerned that they might be excluded from their child’s healing process.
While you don’t want to center yourself in your child or teen’s healing process, it’s normal to want to be a figure of support for them as they navigate therapy. Discuss with your child’s therapist how to best be involved with their work as your child begins the process, so you can help them along the way without overstepping any boundaries.
Insecure about their abilities as a parent.
Of course, the stigma attached to therapy doesn’t disappear when we’re not the ones seeking care ourselves: it can be hard to overcome the cultural messaging you get about therapy, particularly as a parent. Remember that you’re not a failure if your child needs therapeutic intervention.
To best support your teen’s grief therapy, it’s essential to maintain a respectful distance that honors their privacy while staying engaged in their progress. Here are a few tips:
Show curiosity but avoid pressuring them to share:
Let your child or teen know you’re interested in how therapy is going without pushing them to disclose every detail. Ask them questions about if they’re feeling heard in session, if they have any tools to use or practice that you can remind them of, how they’re feeling about their therapist, etc. By making it clear you’re interested in how they’re feeling about the process, rather than the details of the sessions themselves, you can show your child or teen that you’re a safe person to turn to if things in therapy don’t feel supportive.
Celebrate small signs of growth:
If you notice subtle changes—like your child expressing their emotions more openly or engaging more in family or social activities—acknowledge these shifts in a supportive way. Ask them questions about their new hobbies, or share your feelings back to encourage the practice of being vulnerable together.
Communicate openly with the therapist:
You may feel more comfortable knowing you can reach out to the therapist with questions or concerns, while still respecting that much of what is discussed in sessions will be private. Feel free to ask your child’s therapist what role the parent typically plays in treatment/support so you can have a better understanding of what’s appropriate for your position.
Common Concerns Kids and Teens Have About Therapy
Many children and teens feel hesitant or even anxious about therapy, for a number of reasons, including:
What if my therapist tells everyone what I say?
Therapy is a confidential space. You can reassure your child that the therapist will keep their discussions private unless there’s a risk to their safety. Therapists follow strict confidentiality guidelines and will only share information with parents if they feel the child is in danger.
Talking about my feelings is too awkward
Many young people feel uncomfortable opening up at first, especially when dealing with regret or other complex emotions. A skilled therapist will work comfortably, allowing them to express themselves gradually. Techniques like creative activities, storytelling, and guided exercises help children and teens feel less vulnerable and make discussing their feelings feel more natural.
Will this actually help me feel better?
Grief therapy helps young people feel understood, validate their feelings, and find new ways to cope with loss. At a Grief Recovery Center, our practice focuses on creating healing steps that allow children and teens to remember their loved ones while finding ways to reconnect with joy in their own lives.
Compassionate Reassurance for Parents
Watching your child or teen go through therapy can bring its discomforts and uncertainties, but your support and patience make a profound difference. If therapy feels like an unfamiliar journey, that’s okay; your role is to stand by, listen when your child needs it, and show them that seeking help is a strength.
Grief counseling provides a pathway for young people to understand and grow through loss, building resilience and a compassionate view of themselves. Your trust in this process and respect for their independence in therapy help them feel empowered and understood, no matter where the journey of healing may lead.
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